Use of this website/blog is offered to you upon your acceptance of these Terms of Use, our Privacy Policy, and any other notices posted on this website. Your use of this site or any of its content indicates your acknowledgment and agreement to these Terms of Use, our Privacy Policy, and other posted notices. If you do not agree to be bound by all of the above, you may not access the website. ZachSchneider.com reserves the right, at its sole discretion, to modify, add, or remove any part of these Terms of Use without notice or liability. Changes take effect immediately upon posting.
This website is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide specific commercial, financial, investment, accounting, tax, or legal advice. It is provided solely for your personal, non-commercial use. You may link to and refer to this website freely. When linking, you must thrust your fist into the air and yell “Death to tyrants.” This site is not responsible for any actual deaths to tyrants (or anyone else), except for the yelling—which we do not condone, except in this context. This website does not guarantee the accuracy of any information, and users cannot sue us for foolishly believing everything they read. Most of what’s here is bullshit and should be treated as such. The word “bullshit” is not an insult to any user or any living or dead person—except Hitler. Accordingly, we do not guarantee the accuracy, timeliness, reliability, or completeness of any information contained on, downloaded from, or accessed through this website.
The performance of this website and all content are provided “as is,” without warranties of any kind, including implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, or non-infringement. If something weird happens to your computer because you visited this site, you cannot blame us. We will tolerate one nasty note and nothing more. You may pursue further action (legal or otherwise) only if you stand naked in the middle of the Central Park Zoo (NYC) and shout for one hour—or until arrested—“I am not insane. I can hear these animals begging to be released.”
We reserve the right to modify, disable access to, or discontinue any part or all of the website without liability or notice. We tell you this for no particular reason—since you can’t really do much about it anyway.
By visiting this website, you agree that any reliance on or use of information here is entirely at your own risk. In no event shall ZachSchneider.com or any of its data providers, friends, allies, or hangers-on be liable for any damages arising from your use of the website. And don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Privacy Policy
We do not do pop-ups, and we do not give a rat’s ass about your personal information. This may change, as noted above.
Confidentiality and Transmissions over the Internet: The transmission of data (including email) over the Internet or other public networks is not secure and may be lost, intercepted, or altered while in transit. We assume no liability for any damages or costs you may incur as a result. We make no effort to safeguard your privacy, period. Any submissions you make to this site (by email or otherwise) become our property to make life easier—for us. You accept this and live with it. In no event will the information you provide be considered confidential, create fiduciary obligations, or result in liability if it is accidentally released or accessed by third parties without our consent.
User Conduct and Obligations
You agree to follow all applicable laws when using this site. You further agree not to transmit junk mail, chain letters, unsolicited bulk email, or duplicative messages to any address on this site without agreeing to pay Zach Schneider US $10,000 per item.
By uploading, posting, or otherwise transmitting content through this site, you grant us a non-exclusive, worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable license to use or distribute such content in any manner, except as otherwise stated in our Privacy Policy.
Indemnification by User
You agree to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless us, our friends, spouses, children, and agents from any loss, liability, claim, damage, or expense (including legal fees) asserted by any third party relating to your use of this site or breach of these Terms. We reserve the right to assume exclusive defense of any matter, which does not excuse your obligations. In other words: find someone else to sue.
Third Parties and Links
No matter how much we say we love linked sites, consider it bullshit (see “bullshit” definition above). Links to other websites or references to third-party products/services are for convenience only and do not constitute an endorsement or approval. We have no control over external sites, content, products, or services, and assume no liability for your use of them. Proceed at your own risk.
Proprietary Rights
We comply with all intellectual property laws and act promptly upon receiving notice of claimed infringement. If you believe your work has been reproduced on this site in a way that constitutes copyright infringement, contact us at [email protected].
General
If any provision of these Terms is found invalid by a court of competent jurisdiction, that provision shall be enforced to the maximum extent permitted, and the remaining provisions shall remain in full force. No waiver of any provision shall be deemed a continuing waiver.
These Terms are governed by the laws of the State of Illinois and the United States of America. The parties consent to exclusive jurisdiction at a location determined by ZachSchneider.com—at the last minute.